It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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