i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
