hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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