so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
