wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
