hotel room ftw
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
