Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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