Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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