he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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