I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
