Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just gargled with NyQuil
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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