I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Sext me about skeletons
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
