Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Panties = found
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