totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
