I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
