i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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