I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I think i got beer on your cat.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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