the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize