# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
