I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
What a dumb baby whore.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
