This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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