I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
