Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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