Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
