When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize