i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
