please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
