Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
