absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
