Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
