i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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