If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
