can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
worst night to have a conscience
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Text me some of your sweat
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