why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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