i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
