Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
