i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
