Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
