i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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