It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
