Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
