Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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