Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
