I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
