the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
