Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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