i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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