is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
