Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Two words: nipple clamps
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