yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
