I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I am one with the molecules
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize