this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
