My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize