Im at strip club and am horny
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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