He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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