I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just had sex bonerless
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
