Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize