Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
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