Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize